Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen is mostly just stupid.

About a third of the way through the recent "siege on the white house" actioner I was ready to call it an ugly and stupid film. Fortunately as the movie goes on it just reveals itself to be as mundane and standard as any other entry in its genre. We already know the set-up is preposterous, Gerald Butler is a barely disgraced secret service agent who Die Hards his way through a bunch of stuntmen in ski masks in cheap dimly-lit hallways to save president Aaron Eckhart. The film is old-fashioned paranoid patriotic fodder; the American flag waves in slow-motion as sunlight shines through it, disaster imagery is used to stir emotions, Morgan Freeman makes some kind of speech and the words "people" and "nation" are exhaustively overused . Actually fuck it, the only way to make sense of this coffee-brown-shit tinted mess is through a good old fashioned Q&A.

Is the movie offensive?
It really depends on you sensitivity to what's being shown and presented. The movie seems to have a bare sense of social responsibility unlike the remake of Red Dawn from last year. Rick Yune plays the main baddie, a North Korean terrorist named Kang Yeonsak who disguises himself as a South Korean ministry aid who, as the movie glaringly points out, is not aligned with either county, is in fact wanted by North and South Korea for terrorist actions and whose mother was killed by an American landmine. Where Red Dawn presented a hostile takeover, King Kang as I will call him just wants to start World War III, or destroy America or reunite the Koreas, I'm not sure which as he kind of changes his mind throughout the movie.

Wait, that doesn't answer the question.
Oh, right. Well the movie uses pretty harsh imagery to get straight at our core, the Washinton monument is destroyed and falls and crumbles and lands on a couple citizens that borders on exploitative but that's the obvious intention of the movie. But it's all done in really shitty CG so it barely even registers, actually it's less offensive than just really stupid and unconvincing looking. The attack on the White House is visceral and ironically delivers the movie's best action scene, it's harrowing, relentless and blows the movie's action wad in the first 20 minutes. The film's most disturbing moment is when a suicide bomber blows up the gate to the White House allowing the takeover to happen. You won't feel proud of yourself after seeing this movie but you won't feel dirty either. The movie is so ridiculous and cartoonish and you can't possibly take anything you see in it with any validity.


How racist is it?
Just racist enough, King Kang is given pretty solid and valid motivation to hate Americuh but him and his group are portrayed as alien/foreign others. One of the white house staff turns out to be a traitor for profit or country ,again not sure which because the movie doesn't give a fuck which just reveals the awesome dumbness within. If he's for profit how the fuck does he plan on spending money in a nuclear wasteland? At least the movie was sensible enough to include a different colored bad guy even if the in house traitor is just another cliche. What's most strange is this comes from Antoine Fuqua who previously directed the quite good Brooklyn's Finest and the "liberal" action movie Shooter. Seriously, go fucking watch Shooter, it's the exact opposite of Olympus Has Fallen, the main bad guys turn out to be corrupt old white senators, the fact that they're made by the same guy is staggering.

Is the movie dangerous?
Only to stupid people.

How's Butler's facial hair?
It goes from non-existent to lightly stubbled, there's no Spartan beard in this one.

Would Spartan Beard have made the movie better?
Maybe.

How many head stabbings are there?
About 3 or 4, honestly there's not enough.

In the third act it's revealed the White House is a Transformer. (picture sourced www.latimes.com)
Why does the White House have rockets?
 Because fuck you that's why.

How bad is the CG?
TV movie quality, you sort of feel bad for saying it's shitty because the movie is trying very hard and pretending to be a bigger movie.

Would Bill O' Reilly masturbate to this?
I think so.

What should I watch instead?
Die Hard, Commando, First Kid